Oh fuckoff fuck off fuck off fuck off FUCK OFF!!!

My penultimate day in work but had to go up for my leaving presentation with 5 others who were leaving today. Now bearing in mind Ive just pranged my car this morning on a rather large lorry, had to bez up to a leaving meal where I was 30 mins late- had to meet boyfriend & his brother to give him some house keys... and Im on my period... well I just couldnt cope with it.

First time in my life I couldt speak- couldnt get any words through my strangled throat- eyes all red & blurry. I didnt want to do that effing thing today. It felt like I was made to celebrate my birthday a day early, when Im having the shittest day of my life (well week) and I just want to cry. Which I did. And Emma wasnt there- so Im mad at her- and ive got this massive bunch of flowers and a card and I just feel so.. so ... unfuckinggrateful cos all I want to do is scream 'ive got no fucking time!!!! Fuck that stupid car arrrrrrrgghhh im really really tired!!!!!! Im scared of leaving a job thats doing my nut in!!!!!'
etc.

And I still have to come in tomorrow and feel barmy all over again. So I just said 'sorry I cant say anything' and boo-ed me head off.

Ooooh me head! Oooh me liver...

It’s been a bit busy. So much boozing n schmoozing to do and so little time. Friday night was the official party the company financed to soothe the open wounds of making fifty odd members of Regional Progs redundant. In true dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown style we named the party The Redun-Dance and put on a bit of a marquee, band, and an awards ceremony called the D.O.R.P.A awards -aka- Death of Regional Programme Awards... Emma & I had a trip to Hobby craft and have been duckin 'n' divin around work with bits of wood, wire, glue and some weird moulding stuff- the results of which we were very pleased with- lovely Golden, Shiny, Springy Erections they were..
The whole night was messy, I was very, very, drunk, and it was all a bit bittersweet. Lump in my throat you know.

Saturday I went home to Liverpool to see me rellies and had a few drinkies with pals in the city centre. Ended up in mates BF's townhouse flat and practised Poufee Sky diving- Lisa you are an excellent tandem jumper- and chucked water out of the 4th story window to the clubbers on the streets on their way home. Like good responsible late twenty something’s do.

Second hangover of the weekend saw me sitting on a sunny Sunday afternoon in a cinema watching 'Batman Begins' surrounded by 15 under nines for my nephew’s birthday. God. Then a picnic for the adults and a multitude of MacDonalds Happy Crappy Make You Fatty meals for the cherubs. Mother had her 'catsbummouth' look on her as if to say 'you always have a hangover, and what kind of daughter did I raise anyway?' My sister was in good form and my brother hid from all of the proceedings with the professionalism of a really crap uncle.
I stayed all day but at 6pm I couldn’t get up the M62 fast enough.

Back in work and felt a bit shitty, but not enough to pass up the ligging (and last for me anyway) opportunity to go to the RTS Awards. No, not some bit of Emma & Les Hobbycraft magic, but proper TV industry Royal Television Awards.... a three course meal + sitting next to CarlafromAccounts who had a company drinks tab = one very pissed Les on champers and double voddies.

Don’t ask me who won what. I wouldn’t have an effing clue.

All I remember is having the most bizarre conversation with CarlafromAccounts about her part-time business in Alpacas and Alpaca shearing. And this is a 23 year old blonde hottie- who works for TV, in Leeds city, but thinks nothing of discussing the price for shearing an Alpaca (in Peru- £35 per animal) and the merits in dealing with siad animals wool.
I mean what is that about?

So now I look like one ugly haggard wino-bird with a slight inferiority complex as don’t have any secret skill/passion/business... South American animal shearing or otherwise.

Humph.

Ever feel like a hypercondriac suspect?

You know, like a murder suspect? I seem to have developed a ream of bad health pre-dating the flu I mentioned in the last post. The week before that I had a bad back that Im now linking to the flu, and then, of course, the flu. The week after was leftover flu (it doesnt go and as its summer Im not sure what is germs and what is bloody hayfever.

Then I went to Barcelona for 3 days which was fab- and I forgot about any illness whatsoever.

Came back to work the following week and discovered that along with my period came the worst case of hormone madness and I cried at some point everyday in work- and even on the day off???

I found myself thinking 'I dont even know who this mad woman is' and tried to inch away from her, but as that 'her' was 'me' she just kept following me around all week. I gave her the slip last friday though. I went out for 'just the one' drink with my bloke and some mates and got so cheerfully plastered I forgot all about her!

She woke me up for work on Saturday though. The cow.

And so I had this Monday & Tuesday off and came into work yesterday all refreshed and smiley. This morning however I woke up with Cystitis and Im back to feeling rubbish again.

I wish my wee would get better :(