Hot n Cold

Ohh Bonito

seems so far away as Im sitting here in a cybercaff freezing my nips off. Seems a long time ago but, once Im off this tour, there will not be so much, so often, to tell.

Learnt a new card game called Ring of Fire (Or Ring of Death) that was seemingly so complicated at the beginning and yet still achieved its aim, which was to get mightily pissed. Well there wasnt much else going on in the Pantanal at night. The Pantanal by the way is a huge wetland on the borders of Brazil & Bolivia, but just my luck, not in the 'wet season' so not looking quite like the pics in the brochure... Still less mozzies I guess but still swimming in a Cayman & Anaconda infested river (I asked why dont the Anacondas eat people- the answer was they eat the Cayman crocs blah!!), there were monkeys, armadillos(!), giant otters, and millions of birds (of the feathered plummage mind). It was pretty nice to see them not in a sanctury too. Went Pirahna fishing on the last morning there, bagged three and got the snaps to prove it- their teeth are effing massive and you wouldnt want those chompers nibblin on your toes.

A quick flight saw us in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, in time for supper and most of us were pretty surprised at how un-3rdworldy it felt. Very modern nice town. Still, at every traffic stop little kids begged for money, trying to wash windows or juggle fruit in an attempt to get a bit of change. Found you could get a peppered steak dinner for 3 quid - not the best but how would you complain?! But cant really go on about Santa Cruz because we had to fly again - two short flights to get us to the town of Sucre. Man, we covered so much barren mountain desert in the plane and all I could think was 'how could the Spanish be ARSED colonising such a vast area? Even as we were coming into land it looked just like a town in the middle of HOURS of desert. I mean WHY?'

Still, Sucre caught my imagination and Ive decided Im going to love Bolivia, aside from it being as cheap as chips, the people seem very nice and peaceable and the whole backpacker thing just a bit more..relaxed.

In quick succsession Id better say that I got mortal in a bar in Sucre called The Joyrider Cafe, 4am finish and starting to feel the altitude horrors.. followed by an 8am start on a two hour bus ride to the markets (Tarabouco, 4,400mt above SL) and then purchasing lots of fluffy stuff of the Alpaca variety (Carla you would have been proud) hats, scarfs... in fact I shamed myself (look I know I was going to finish but you all know I go on a bit so leave it) when I successfully haggled for a hat & bag down from 65 Bolivianos to 60.. and then realsied Id saved 50p. I reckon the Bolivian geezer could have done with it more than me. Shame on me.

Ummm, had my first going to the Cinema Alone experience which was cool and felt like empowered female traveller... and then we whizzed off to .. here. The highest City in the World at 4040mts above SL :Potosi. Its nice and warm in the day but at night? Winter a tell thee, winter. Whats all that about? Thought I was chasing the sun, instead im chasing my last breath. You cant walk up a flight of stairs here without a sit down. Why's it here? Who would want to be here?
Miners, silver ones at that.

So today was going into the mines, which were in a horrific state. Dressed up like the Beastie Boys (yellow jump suit, wellies and hard hat/face mask - you'd like it Ryan) we somtimes had to crawl through passages on our bellies when we werent crouching through the mini-man sized corridors - it was fairly claustrophobic. Even had a go at 'helping a miner' chisle away. Think he might have thought we were a gang of sad losers but he liked the gifts of cigs, coca cola and coca leaves we had armed oursleves with before going in. Harsh life, glad its not me.

And to bring me right up to date - though im sure no ones reading this by now - swims in the hot springs and a Llama barbeque. The meat is tough, like a shoe. Not keen. And its soooo cold at night!

Off to the Salt deserts anyway. If Im still breathing by then.

If you dont like bragging dont read this

Um so where was I.. oh yeah Curitiba. Very nice student town. Clean and quiet and did not fear getting stabbed / mugged / raped as much as previous places. Only there a day as a means to get to Foz De Igauzu which has the most spectacular waterfalls in the world.

We had a overnight bus there and well my goodness the longhaul buses in Brazil are effing amazing- better than being on a plane. You get seats that recline right back, a foot rest that unfolds in front and they give you a little packed lunch. I took a comedy photo me n Holly (new pal) looking well chuffed. They tried to play a Deep Purple dvd but couldnt get it to work...shame. Still hard to sleep on it though.

Got to Foz at 7.30am and then straight to hotel to dump stuff and get a quick shower. Went to the biggest hydroelectric damn in the world- but it wasnt on so just felt like 'bring your child to work day' and me being the uninteressted snot nosed brat. Borring.

The promo film Itapiu Company showed before was a gas though
"Luuuck at the brrrilliant people of BRRRRAZZZILL! AMAZING! WITTY(?)" and bragging about how Brazil has doubled its population in 30 years showing crowds of people walking throught the streets in 80s clothes. At the end an Itapiu worker in a hard hat thumbs up at the screen. Straight off The Simpsons a tell thee...

Then we all whizzed off to the Heliport and I had my first helicopter ride!!! I was totally bricking it- its the weirdest thing I've ever been in- just buzzing around the sky like a little bee! We went right over the Falls and I got some fantastic pics- and I got to sit next to the pilot!!! Woooooo!! Still, I kept thinking 'oh, the propeller could just stall...' and then have to have a word with myself and continue grinning like a loon.

After that we went to a bird sanctuary and then to the Falls on foot - Amazing. Like stepping into an Imax cinema screen. We went across to the Argentinean side the following day and stood right next to where the Falls, well, fall? It was like standing next to the Plug Hole of the World except instead of a dirty sink you can see Lord of the Rings-ish rainbows and mists and caverns... There are no words. So I wont bore you. But I was speechless and thats saying something. We took a speedboat into the mists of them and I truly thought I was witnessing my last moments on earth- shoulda guessed that the bloke filming it at the speedboats helm wasn't arsed so I shouldn't have been screaming at the top of my lungs. But I did anyway- like Alton Towers but you could really die!!
Ace.

Oh- also went to a 'Fast Show Channel 9' style south american caberet. Just so awful it was fantastic. Again wordless...

Errrm what else. Oh I've been in and out of Paraguay. Shithole. Two nights and one day in the capital Ascension. Tax free haven (ha!) that has the slums and destitute living DIRECTLY behind the fine presidential & congress buildings. Sick. As have mentioned before can sleep through anything so can only tell you my room mates word that there was lots of gunfire in the night. Id heard a bit while we were having dinner but like to think it was fireworks. That's nicer and my mum reading this would like that.
Mum, it was fireworks okay?
We had the (pissed) Director General of... Pensions(fnar) flashing his bizzy ness card at us in a dining place trying to get my chick-dominated tour to go to a club but Siri (tour leader) told him to do one. Probably lucky he didnt pull his 'strings' and have us detained in Paraguays finest...

So. More posh buses and I'm back in Brazil in Bonito which as the name suggests is beautiful - been snorkeling in a freshwater river today with MASSIVE FISH!! And then hammock sleeps after heeheee... and wild red macaws in trees and...! Oh the bragging!

I'm going red I really am ;)

I think it was something I ate

Im razzing down south Brazil at a rate of knots I tell thee! Last time we met our intrepid traveller (thats me) she was about to go and dance around on a submarine with a load of sailors a la Cher singing 'If I could turn back time'...

Turns out the ship was a day late and therefore I probably had a lucky escape as the girl Id befriended had said they hadnt docked for 3 months and a lot of the sailors had been issued 'one for saturday, one for sunday, and one for luck' nudge nudge wink wink if youknowwarramean? (shudders)So no ta....

Braved Corcadorvo to visit the famous Cristor Rendentor but when I got up to the top of the mountain where he is perched it was covered in this eerie fog, right in a cloud and a bit un-nerving having the most famous MASSIVE statue of Jesus glaring at you biblically through the fog. I took some arty pics (well I think so) and will stick on here if i get a chance. Met up with my group and went for a few wines and listened to a brazilian man-woman duet with a penchant for Pink Floyd. Amusing.

The next day was super clear so before the bus set off from Rio I went up Sugar Loaf Mountain and it was ....dazziling. I mean, it was just pinch-yourself UNREAL. I was with two other girls, Holly & Jessica and the three of us just grinned like loons at the top. A really nice way to say Adios to Rio.

Arrived in Paratay where the more affluent Brazilians holiday. Has a really cute river that runs through the town- and when the tides are high half of the town takes on a Venice flooded street effect. But no gondalahs here. Lots of lovely beaches (just like from the old Bounty ads) that a bit of a boat trip reveals and the waters are greeny blue. When you swim in it the sea men chuck cooked rice around you so the fish swarm about you and hve a nibble.

Now due to the fact that Rio was a bit intense (yes Dave Devenport you were pretty on the mark with the whole hardcore Rio thing) I hadnt exactly been very drunk on this holiday- and time was cracking on. Roped Holly into a wine share over dinner and the end messy result was a new friend 'Gay Veetor from Rio, but lives in London as a Yoga teacher' that had found my new blonde friend staggering about in the loos of a brazilian 'disco' where she was hiding from all of the leery brazilians. An absolute love, he took both of us under his wing, plus some bloke he'd been eyeing up and our tour guide Siri, a venezualan. Oh I cant spell it but theres no spell check on this thing!

Anyway all end up back at his posh gaff dancing around wrecked til 530 am with Veetor doing headstands and showing off his yoga...

The next day on the way to Sao Paulo I had to get the tour bus to pull over while I was sick on the side of the road. The shame of it.

Had a bit of a lie down and then went up the tallest tower in Sao Paulo and in every direction as far as you could see... was Sao Paulo. I mean that place is effing VAST. And dangerous, and dirty. Not very fussed with the place but only had a day there yesterday so maybe I cant judge. The fact that Siri had led several tours through there and all she could say was 'Jesus Christ, I mean f*ck-inghell I hate this place it so intense you know???' might have coloured my winesoggy banging head. Who knows, as we hit Curachiba today...

The girl from Ipanema...

Hiyerrrrr

Yes its me, Leslos, safe and relativley well in Rio, Brazil. I said my goodbyes on Friday to my big bro & sis, my mum, and then at the airport it all got really emotional with my two best friends and my boyfriend. Everyone was crying, but it wasnt until I was on the transfer plane from manc to london that I had a cry myself.

Totally bewildered. The flight was delayed so there was no time to cruise Heathrow- before I knew it I was on a 747 to Rio with a few hundered brazilians for an 11 hr flight. Anyway met lovely woman called Riata from Sao Paulo who had just been on a business trip to London. She gave me her business card and personal numbers & told me if I ever got in a spot of trouble she could help me out. Really comforting when I hadnt even landed yet!

Travelling solo i was alone for a total of 15 minutes. A glaswegian called Carol spied a like solo-soul and before long we had arranged to share a cab to our digs and there you go. Alone no longer.

Took a walk along copacobana & ipanema beaches, where the mens swimwear was even more itsybitsy than the womens. Carol wants to know where they keep their door keys... Was acossted by a beefy brazilian called Alan (?) asking if i wanted any cannabis or coke. It was 2 in the afternoon and i was only after a pizza. He sat himself down and told me he was skint (he was also in the uniform of skinny swimshorts & little else) and I couldnt work out if he was begging- or some kind of beach gigalo. Anyway he only went away after Carol pointedly ignored him. Soft shite me had bought him half a lager cos I felt sorry for him but Carol has reprimanded me for that.

`Tell them to go away- or better still, fuck off`

Anyway my first night on the road was spent on the roof of Carols 5 star hotel sitting poolside with a steak dinner. Carol is waiting for her submarine navigator fiance to surface today and apparently 150 navy types will be on the tiles in Rio tonight.

Which is nice.