So long Sydney, I'm off to freak out in Nimbin...
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'That slack bint didn't do an entry for May'. Well there wouldn't have been much point really as May in Sydney was cold, boring and depleting in good people as everyone has fecked off. (Yes Lucy you ran away with the Brazilian not us...)
So who wants to read about a month of staying in, cooking, and watching DVD's and working in a shiiiiite department store when I can get straight to the East Coast point. I've been waiting for my longtime bezzie mate Jenny to turn up so I could quit NSW and last Sunday she finally arrived! I had all sorts planned; a night out in Bondi, Aquarium Monday morning, World Tower, Bridge Walk over the Harbour Bridge etc. Well on the day she arrived it pished down. And, erm, didn't stop. Due to jetlag (Jen) and a badly organized flat move (um, me) we didn't make any of the above except the bridge walk because our 165 bucks was non refundable. So we had to climb the 137 meters in the rain. Not quite what Id imagined for the past six months but a trip to the meat fest restaurant Hurricanes in Bondi more than made up for it (Steaks and Ribs in Flintstones portions wooohooo).
So then a low key farewell and me, Jason and Jenny set off for a quick flight to Byron Bay. Really pretty. Really DEAD because its winter. Dutifully went to Cheeky Monkeys Backpacker bar (oh Lise, you should have seen Jens face) and had sausage & mash for 2 dollars (80p). The whole pub was full of stingy backpackers waiting for sausage & mash- and when I say pub, well it was, errr... weird. Some geezer yelling down a microphone all night 'geeing up da crowd' and big long metal tables that looked like mortuary slabs for the travel weary to sit at. And the drinks (which were not esp cheap) were effing disgusting. Now I've been going at this travel lark 10 months and it wasn't the worst but poor Jenny. Its been a few days now but the initial shock of 'shared dorms, crappy bathrooms, young travelling annoying yanks' was a little much for her at that point I'd say.
Next morning at 10am we get picked up for the day trip to Nimbin which is an hour or so away from Byron. For those who have never heard of it Nimbin was the site for a drug's hippy-fest in 1972 and is now the place where 'the hippies who would not leave' live. It was also a Yank draft-dodger magnet. Anyway it's still really small and consists of a few hippy shops and cafes and has some strange agreement with the law where marijuana, space cookies and mushrooms are sold by the locals in the most bizarre and weakly disguised way. It's so famous that we all thought that cannabis was legal in this part of the country but no- the coppers just turn a blind eye to it.
Anyway the driver of the bus Dougie was bright eyed and chatty, a self confessed hippy for the past 30 years, and passed the drive time away with very cool 70's music and told us stories of how he was 16 when him and his mate Maaaark sneaked off to the festival in 1972 and ended up with no clothes on etc. And how for his daughters 21st birthday party he spent 250 bucks in Happy Herb's High shop.
'Yeaaah all you needed for a bladdy good paaaahty and they were ROOOOASTED for TWO DAYS!!!'.
parental misguidence eh?
When we got to Nimbin were were told to respect the locals and if we were offered stuff we didn't want '...Then an "I'm sorted thankyou" is better than fackoff yeah? Oh and if you don't smoke but you want to try one of the cookies and they tell you to only have a quarter, only have a bladdy quarter. We have a nice bladdy aaaaftanoon planned and I don't want you all so stoned so you aint with me alright?'
Alright.
So we get off the bus and take a look around. True to all hippy stereo types the place was covered in rainbows and hemp signs, and the cafes had names like 'Rainbow Cafe' and all the Nimbin locals hung around the little shops that sold pipes and love beads and 'natural drugs' and basically offered you anything you wanted.
Now mother before you continue reading I have to remind you of my investigative travel journal integrity where one cannot comment unless one is truly 'experienced'. So don't go mental when I say we scored three chocolate space disks and a few cookies from some mad bint who called herself the Cookie Queen and couldn't remember us 5 minutes later when she tried to flog us some more.
We three convene at a cafe order a hot drink and decide to have the 'recommended' half a chocolate disk each. They tasted absolutely disgusting. And then nothing. We spent the rest of the last hour wandering around and then just before boarding time we got a little peckish. At the back of the bus we all scoff some spring rolls and chicken wings. I'm still really hungry. The Doritos get dragged out. The three of us sit at the back of the bus chomping away mechanically and probably pissing off the people sitting in front of us because the chomping was SO LOUD. At least I thought it was. Then inexplicably I have a laughing fit- and this made Jenny laugh because everytime I tried to tell her what in my head I knew wasn't very funny- as it reached my lips I would snort and shake and laugh more. Then I laughed more because Jenny, as far as I was concerned, was laughing for no reason.
'Y-- y-yodonyoudontknowwh.Wh!WWWAARRLLLLAAAFFFINNNNAAA' I'm crying from laughing so hard.
'AKNOOOOOOW' she squeaks back.
I shoot a look at Jason. He looks perplexed and says 'I'm not feeling anything.' Inside my head I'm thinking 'this is like Euro Roadtrip when they eat the hash cakes with no hash in them' but I cant say it because I'm feeling a little paranoid. I control the laughing to the occasional snigger.
Silence.
'I know. Lets all share a cookie.'
That, I have to admit, wasn't one of my best ideas. Jen takes a teeny-tiny nibble and J and myself scoff the rest as if it were a Hobnob. She had told us a quarter each- it was more like half but anyway. Sometime later I become aware that my brain is quite hot. I shift a sneaky glance at the other two and then think about the heat. It heats up. I'm a bit alarmed.
'J, my heads hot.' He smiles at me.
'I mean its really hot. My head. Not my HEAD- but like (realise at this point how I sound but was alarmed enough to proceed) my... brain. My brain is over heating.'
I feel a bit panicky and wonder if I need help. The bus had stopped and people were standing around outside what looked like a show jumping park. Jason tells me I need a bit of fresh air. I stagger up the aisle and see Dougie sitting at the wheel.
I ask him in hush hush tones: 'Um. Hi. Listen. You know those cookies, can they- you know. Well how should they make you feel?'
In brash loud and chirpy aussie tones he replies
'You had some eh? Wassamatter? You rushin love?'
'Well no. Its erm, my brain. It's hot. It feels like its heating up...Or getting squashed...'
'Ah. No love. YA JAST REALLY FACKING STONED.'
And with this I wobble off the bus and wonder why I'm staring at a show jumping ground. J asks if my brain has cooled down. I do a mental check and thankfully it has. Then we clamber back on and Dougie puts on some weird trancy music on then starts razzing up and down some ridiculously steep roads and at first me and Jen pretended to be a on a rollercoaster. Then we just zone out. All stop at some weird place called _____ Hippy Heaven which was a shack next to a creek. This American hippy dude gave away free fruit and nuts and chatted away and the rest of the bus crew just stood there silent eating fruit. The whole bus was gone. I looked at Jason, he looked distressed so I gave him my seat.
'Get a picture!' I hissed.
'No. I cant. I cant take a picture'. I got annoyed because I knew we would want pictures of this weird place- and the weird guy. Still. I couldn't get my camera out either. I just...could'nt.
Then we all got led around the forest surrounding the shack and my god was it weird. Twilight, in the woods, single file, stoned, following a hippy. Every so often you would see broken children's toys strewn about or in the undergrowth and at one point there was a big wooden dirty white house in the clearing - with a wood chipper near it and logs of wood- and in one for the trees I was standing near- a broken doll. It was like something out of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre or Fargo. Creepy. As we were walking something hit my ankle and I started screaming because I thought I had a leech stuck to it. I wouldnt even look at my ankle but there was nothing on it. Jenny laughed and whispered in my ear that everyone was looking at me thinking 'Thats the girl who thinks her brain is squashed. Freaking out right there.' Nice one.
Vaguley remember about 24 of us standing in the clearing while this hippy ranted and raved his thoughts on life. I cant rememeber what he said- just that everyone just stood there, some twitching with giggles and some just fish mouthed and gormless looking.
We all got herded into the bus like the special needs unit we had become.
Felt alright the next day though.
So who wants to read about a month of staying in, cooking, and watching DVD's and working in a shiiiiite department store when I can get straight to the East Coast point. I've been waiting for my longtime bezzie mate Jenny to turn up so I could quit NSW and last Sunday she finally arrived! I had all sorts planned; a night out in Bondi, Aquarium Monday morning, World Tower, Bridge Walk over the Harbour Bridge etc. Well on the day she arrived it pished down. And, erm, didn't stop. Due to jetlag (Jen) and a badly organized flat move (um, me) we didn't make any of the above except the bridge walk because our 165 bucks was non refundable. So we had to climb the 137 meters in the rain. Not quite what Id imagined for the past six months but a trip to the meat fest restaurant Hurricanes in Bondi more than made up for it (Steaks and Ribs in Flintstones portions wooohooo).
So then a low key farewell and me, Jason and Jenny set off for a quick flight to Byron Bay. Really pretty. Really DEAD because its winter. Dutifully went to Cheeky Monkeys Backpacker bar (oh Lise, you should have seen Jens face) and had sausage & mash for 2 dollars (80p). The whole pub was full of stingy backpackers waiting for sausage & mash- and when I say pub, well it was, errr... weird. Some geezer yelling down a microphone all night 'geeing up da crowd' and big long metal tables that looked like mortuary slabs for the travel weary to sit at. And the drinks (which were not esp cheap) were effing disgusting. Now I've been going at this travel lark 10 months and it wasn't the worst but poor Jenny. Its been a few days now but the initial shock of 'shared dorms, crappy bathrooms, young travelling annoying yanks' was a little much for her at that point I'd say.
Next morning at 10am we get picked up for the day trip to Nimbin which is an hour or so away from Byron. For those who have never heard of it Nimbin was the site for a drug's hippy-fest in 1972 and is now the place where 'the hippies who would not leave' live. It was also a Yank draft-dodger magnet. Anyway it's still really small and consists of a few hippy shops and cafes and has some strange agreement with the law where marijuana, space cookies and mushrooms are sold by the locals in the most bizarre and weakly disguised way. It's so famous that we all thought that cannabis was legal in this part of the country but no- the coppers just turn a blind eye to it.
Anyway the driver of the bus Dougie was bright eyed and chatty, a self confessed hippy for the past 30 years, and passed the drive time away with very cool 70's music and told us stories of how he was 16 when him and his mate Maaaark sneaked off to the festival in 1972 and ended up with no clothes on etc. And how for his daughters 21st birthday party he spent 250 bucks in Happy Herb's High shop.
'Yeaaah all you needed for a bladdy good paaaahty and they were ROOOOASTED for TWO DAYS!!!'.
parental misguidence eh?
When we got to Nimbin were were told to respect the locals and if we were offered stuff we didn't want '...Then an "I'm sorted thankyou" is better than fackoff yeah? Oh and if you don't smoke but you want to try one of the cookies and they tell you to only have a quarter, only have a bladdy quarter. We have a nice bladdy aaaaftanoon planned and I don't want you all so stoned so you aint with me alright?'
Alright.
So we get off the bus and take a look around. True to all hippy stereo types the place was covered in rainbows and hemp signs, and the cafes had names like 'Rainbow Cafe' and all the Nimbin locals hung around the little shops that sold pipes and love beads and 'natural drugs' and basically offered you anything you wanted.
Now mother before you continue reading I have to remind you of my investigative travel journal integrity where one cannot comment unless one is truly 'experienced'. So don't go mental when I say we scored three chocolate space disks and a few cookies from some mad bint who called herself the Cookie Queen and couldn't remember us 5 minutes later when she tried to flog us some more.
We three convene at a cafe order a hot drink and decide to have the 'recommended' half a chocolate disk each. They tasted absolutely disgusting. And then nothing. We spent the rest of the last hour wandering around and then just before boarding time we got a little peckish. At the back of the bus we all scoff some spring rolls and chicken wings. I'm still really hungry. The Doritos get dragged out. The three of us sit at the back of the bus chomping away mechanically and probably pissing off the people sitting in front of us because the chomping was SO LOUD. At least I thought it was. Then inexplicably I have a laughing fit- and this made Jenny laugh because everytime I tried to tell her what in my head I knew wasn't very funny- as it reached my lips I would snort and shake and laugh more. Then I laughed more because Jenny, as far as I was concerned, was laughing for no reason.
'Y-- y-yodonyoudontknowwh.Wh!WWWAARRLLLLAAAFFFINNNNAAA' I'm crying from laughing so hard.
'AKNOOOOOOW' she squeaks back.
I shoot a look at Jason. He looks perplexed and says 'I'm not feeling anything.' Inside my head I'm thinking 'this is like Euro Roadtrip when they eat the hash cakes with no hash in them' but I cant say it because I'm feeling a little paranoid. I control the laughing to the occasional snigger.
Silence.
'I know. Lets all share a cookie.'
That, I have to admit, wasn't one of my best ideas. Jen takes a teeny-tiny nibble and J and myself scoff the rest as if it were a Hobnob. She had told us a quarter each- it was more like half but anyway. Sometime later I become aware that my brain is quite hot. I shift a sneaky glance at the other two and then think about the heat. It heats up. I'm a bit alarmed.
'J, my heads hot.' He smiles at me.
'I mean its really hot. My head. Not my HEAD- but like (realise at this point how I sound but was alarmed enough to proceed) my... brain. My brain is over heating.'
I feel a bit panicky and wonder if I need help. The bus had stopped and people were standing around outside what looked like a show jumping park. Jason tells me I need a bit of fresh air. I stagger up the aisle and see Dougie sitting at the wheel.
I ask him in hush hush tones: 'Um. Hi. Listen. You know those cookies, can they- you know. Well how should they make you feel?'
In brash loud and chirpy aussie tones he replies
'You had some eh? Wassamatter? You rushin love?'
'Well no. Its erm, my brain. It's hot. It feels like its heating up...Or getting squashed...'
'Ah. No love. YA JAST REALLY FACKING STONED.'
And with this I wobble off the bus and wonder why I'm staring at a show jumping ground. J asks if my brain has cooled down. I do a mental check and thankfully it has. Then we clamber back on and Dougie puts on some weird trancy music on then starts razzing up and down some ridiculously steep roads and at first me and Jen pretended to be a on a rollercoaster. Then we just zone out. All stop at some weird place called _____ Hippy Heaven which was a shack next to a creek. This American hippy dude gave away free fruit and nuts and chatted away and the rest of the bus crew just stood there silent eating fruit. The whole bus was gone. I looked at Jason, he looked distressed so I gave him my seat.
'Get a picture!' I hissed.
'No. I cant. I cant take a picture'. I got annoyed because I knew we would want pictures of this weird place- and the weird guy. Still. I couldn't get my camera out either. I just...could'nt.
Then we all got led around the forest surrounding the shack and my god was it weird. Twilight, in the woods, single file, stoned, following a hippy. Every so often you would see broken children's toys strewn about or in the undergrowth and at one point there was a big wooden dirty white house in the clearing - with a wood chipper near it and logs of wood- and in one for the trees I was standing near- a broken doll. It was like something out of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre or Fargo. Creepy. As we were walking something hit my ankle and I started screaming because I thought I had a leech stuck to it. I wouldnt even look at my ankle but there was nothing on it. Jenny laughed and whispered in my ear that everyone was looking at me thinking 'Thats the girl who thinks her brain is squashed. Freaking out right there.' Nice one.
Vaguley remember about 24 of us standing in the clearing while this hippy ranted and raved his thoughts on life. I cant rememeber what he said- just that everyone just stood there, some twitching with giggles and some just fish mouthed and gormless looking.
We all got herded into the bus like the special needs unit we had become.
Felt alright the next day though.
posted by LesAlanos @ 9:52 PM
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