Back to Bangkok with De-lick Zoo-rander
So the reason my boyfriend had to love 'n leave me in Australia was because he'd been head hunted for modeling in Bangkok. J had signed up to a Sydney 'extras' agency nearly a year ago and had financed some of his traveling being in commercials- crowd shots etc- for easy money. Tellingly, he had actually 'featured' in two adverts in Korea that he has never seen, one for Dunkin Donuts and one, hilariously, for a dandruff shampoo ad. Anyway being reasonably embarrassed by this it was something of an 'in joke' and I loved winding him up about it. It stopped being funny when one day on the snow slopes his mobile phone came into reception and the agency rang with an interesting proposition. Would Jason fancy living in Bangkok for 3 months modeling and audtioning for ads? He could make a lot of money from his 'look' because the Thais love 'mixes' and he was a mix of half English, with a dash of Chinese, Portuguese and Filipino. He's from East Ham- sounds about the norm really.
Anyway he was a bit torn because of plans already laid out for traveling up to Broome together and then Vietnam and Cambodia before heading to Thailand. He asked me what I would do. I said (reluctantly) that I would take the modeling and so should he....
So offski he went whilst I finished the last part of Aus. It was actually a surprisingly hard couple of weeks for the pair of us- we'd been glued together for seven months after all. Anyway I decided to visit him in Bangkok for a while before heading to Vietnam and got a ridiculously cheap flight from Darwin to Bangkok for 180 quid! I was landing on the 16th and I knew J had a job in Malaysia for a night and a day on the 17th, so we'd have a night to see each other- then he'd have to go.
I got pretty hammered on my last night in Darwin, thinking that I'd sleep the whole way to my connection flight to Singapore. Not really though, and then when my cheapie flight got me to Singapore I realised my skintflintness cost me in that I was stuck in the 'budget' departures lounge for SIX HOURS. It was the most boring six hours of my life I swear- and not helped by my slight hangover. Anyway jumped the plane for my two hour flight to Bangkok, got changed in the toilets and freshened up, was even a little nervous about seeing J again... Would he still fancy me after 2 weeks of being shoulder to shoulder with the leggy models? Would I look like road kill after 20 hours on the go?
Grabbed my bag and skipped through the gate to see a million Thai faces looking for loved ones etc. Couldn't see my loved one at all... I wandered around the arrivals gate for ten minutes but it was total madness- couldn't see him anywhere and my mobile didn't work so couldn't call him- or have an address etc. Eventually I found a western guy with his typically thai tiny bird and asked if I could be cheeky enough to use his mobile. He let me and I called J only to find he was about ten metres from me- it was that mental in there.
Anyway total relief, massive hugs n' kisses and slight surprise because I'd kind of forgotten what he looked like! He said the same- both of us nicely surprised. Then, after more massive hugs he said 'I've got some bad news'.
I looked at him and was like 'You have to go to Malaysia today don't you.'
He nodded.
When?
'Ah man, in like, 45 minutes. They told me this morning and I've been running around sorting it out- I've been panicking thinking you would turn up, Id be on the flight and you'd be stuck in the airport'.
There was nothing for it- I just burst out crying like a complete girl. We had 30 mins standing in an arrivals gate hugging, crying, and shushing before he had to give me some Thai baht, directions to his apartment and his agency phone number. Then he was off and I was alone in another dodgy Bangkok cab heading to the Thai suburb of Town in Town.
Or Towwwwintowwww as the thais say.
Got to 'Towintow' and was dumped outside JIMS model agency to be greeted by J's agent and booker, Pavie and Nikki.
'Hulllo! Hullo Jaysons gir-fren'!' I was dragged into the agency, shown to the office and talked about in Thai for 5 minutes before Pavie mercifully dropped my off at the apartment.
Hell.
But, when the boy in question turned up the next night it was worth it. Happy happy joy joy.
So that was over two weeks ago and theres a few things I could tell you about the 'model lifestyle' of Bangkok....
For some reason, club and bar promoters in Bangkok think getting models into their gaff will mean the instant success of the club night. So bars such as 'Koi' give out 10 free drink tickets per model on production of a 'Model headshot' card, plus a free meal from the 'Models Menu'. Presumably because half the girls there look like they need feeding up. Then other bars such as Escudo, and clubs like Santika, Flicks or Black & White also give out free drinks tickets. The beautiful spawny bastards need not spend anything but the cab fare all night. Or the girlfriend of one hahaha. On Halloween me, J and 4 of the more sound males models went to Santika and they didn't even ask for a card. So one of the lads (Texan Thai) Justin says 'Hey, look Lesley just sign up' so I did, got my free 10 drinks even though I was six inches shorter and two stone heavier than any other girl model that night- hahaha wayyyy!! I was destroyed the next day.
So my liver is hurting from too many of these nights out. Intimidating at first, I wasn't keen to go 'hang out' with a load of models but actually its quite funny to check it out. The majority of the blokes wear white 'wife beater' vests so you can see their muscles and the girls are all about 17-21, beautiful, and horribly drunk. They are all so good looking that non of them really stand out. Bit sad really. We made a mate in the form of 20 yr old Andrew, a Thai American from Washington, DC. Originally over in SE Asia for a Tsunami project, he looked up his brother living in Bangkok, whos girlfriend was a model in JIMS and suggested he join. Although he hasn't had an assignment yet he has made great use of everything free he can get his hands on and just human pinballs his way around nightclubs and bars, wrecked on gin and tequila, hating other models. He's pretty switched on and I liked him immediately. He confessed his horror at sitting in a casting one day and having to listen to one male model talk about hair gel for ten minutes. The 'Derek Zoolander' thing is more on the mark than you would know and I comfort myself with the thought that J has at least got a degree in Natural Sciences....
The agency keeps picking on Andrew to gain weight and to act 'more manly'. Conversely when J arrived he was told he was too fat (70kg and 5'10) and that he had to get a six pack in 2 weeks. Jesus. The first time I went on a night out with his agency lot, his booker Nikki took me aside and told me I should get on the dieting pills like herself. 'Yeah, Lesssleee, I lost 15 kilos in 6 months!' Well, what could I say? I thought about 'Piss off you cheeky cow' but choose a diplomatic silence....
Anyway aside from that, due to the length of time here and that we are living in the Thai version of Hollywood (or Bollywood if you know what I mean) it means not so many people speak English and so we've had to get stuck into learning a few words. Got my directions and pleasantries down- and numbers! Jason is more tenatious at practicing though and gets his point across. And the food, oh yum, the food is frickin great! The street stall stuff is so good and with good recommendations you can find stuff better than in the restaurants. Noodle soups, curries, although ordering a plate of mixed green vegetables has taken us 3 weeks to figure out. Only managed that today. Average meal costs about 35 baht- 50 pence. If you get take away they give it to you in small knotted plastic bags, and if you want a drink with ice in then that also comes in a plastic bag- you have to hold it till its finished.
Other than that I have been to most markets and malls here; Platinum, MBK, Siam Discovery, and also the Night Bizarre (cool, and great food) and the Godfather of all monster markets- Chatuchack, a claustrophobic maze of clothes stalls, food stalls and niknaks. Went to MBK to pick up a pair of jeans and MY GOD, shopping away from Koh San Road has its problems for your 'curvy' Farang (western) lady. The Thais are so thai-ny! You look at a dress or skirt and they'll shout out 'noooo, lady yoo tooo big!!' My first week of this was, well, shit to be quite frank with you. But Im getting used to it. Remember my near fight with the Chickboy in April? Bloody rude. Sometimes I have gotten really upset about it and it's Jason who sorts my head out and tells me to let it wash over me. So I found a Zara in one of the shopping centres, found a size meduim skirt that fitted me just fine and felt better about the whole thing. Bloody midgets. They haven't got any boobs either so there.
To get away from the mentalness, J and I took a weekend trip to Koh Samet, an island 3 hours drive south of Bangkok and had a fantastic time. I thought, with the island being in such close proximity to Bangkok, that it would be rubbish- but it was lovely!! Went down to the relatively quiet beach of Ao Vong Duan and got a villa for three nights, right next to the beach. It was chilled, the water was warm and greeny blue and we just blissed out. Lovely.
So still have a few things on the list to 'tick', Mhuy Thai boxing match, Thai cooking course, and Timo Mass playing in a 'non model endorsed' venue on Wednesday which should be great. In the meantime I have to confess I've been getting into Yoga and hurt all over. It's harder than it looks... Should be one bendy brown thing by time I get home for xmas....
Anyway he was a bit torn because of plans already laid out for traveling up to Broome together and then Vietnam and Cambodia before heading to Thailand. He asked me what I would do. I said (reluctantly) that I would take the modeling and so should he....
So offski he went whilst I finished the last part of Aus. It was actually a surprisingly hard couple of weeks for the pair of us- we'd been glued together for seven months after all. Anyway I decided to visit him in Bangkok for a while before heading to Vietnam and got a ridiculously cheap flight from Darwin to Bangkok for 180 quid! I was landing on the 16th and I knew J had a job in Malaysia for a night and a day on the 17th, so we'd have a night to see each other- then he'd have to go.
I got pretty hammered on my last night in Darwin, thinking that I'd sleep the whole way to my connection flight to Singapore. Not really though, and then when my cheapie flight got me to Singapore I realised my skintflintness cost me in that I was stuck in the 'budget' departures lounge for SIX HOURS. It was the most boring six hours of my life I swear- and not helped by my slight hangover. Anyway jumped the plane for my two hour flight to Bangkok, got changed in the toilets and freshened up, was even a little nervous about seeing J again... Would he still fancy me after 2 weeks of being shoulder to shoulder with the leggy models? Would I look like road kill after 20 hours on the go?
Grabbed my bag and skipped through the gate to see a million Thai faces looking for loved ones etc. Couldn't see my loved one at all... I wandered around the arrivals gate for ten minutes but it was total madness- couldn't see him anywhere and my mobile didn't work so couldn't call him- or have an address etc. Eventually I found a western guy with his typically thai tiny bird and asked if I could be cheeky enough to use his mobile. He let me and I called J only to find he was about ten metres from me- it was that mental in there.
Anyway total relief, massive hugs n' kisses and slight surprise because I'd kind of forgotten what he looked like! He said the same- both of us nicely surprised. Then, after more massive hugs he said 'I've got some bad news'.
I looked at him and was like 'You have to go to Malaysia today don't you.'
He nodded.
When?
'Ah man, in like, 45 minutes. They told me this morning and I've been running around sorting it out- I've been panicking thinking you would turn up, Id be on the flight and you'd be stuck in the airport'.
There was nothing for it- I just burst out crying like a complete girl. We had 30 mins standing in an arrivals gate hugging, crying, and shushing before he had to give me some Thai baht, directions to his apartment and his agency phone number. Then he was off and I was alone in another dodgy Bangkok cab heading to the Thai suburb of Town in Town.
Or Towwwwintowwww as the thais say.
Got to 'Towintow' and was dumped outside JIMS model agency to be greeted by J's agent and booker, Pavie and Nikki.
'Hulllo! Hullo Jaysons gir-fren'!' I was dragged into the agency, shown to the office and talked about in Thai for 5 minutes before Pavie mercifully dropped my off at the apartment.
Hell.
But, when the boy in question turned up the next night it was worth it. Happy happy joy joy.
So that was over two weeks ago and theres a few things I could tell you about the 'model lifestyle' of Bangkok....
For some reason, club and bar promoters in Bangkok think getting models into their gaff will mean the instant success of the club night. So bars such as 'Koi' give out 10 free drink tickets per model on production of a 'Model headshot' card, plus a free meal from the 'Models Menu'. Presumably because half the girls there look like they need feeding up. Then other bars such as Escudo, and clubs like Santika, Flicks or Black & White also give out free drinks tickets. The beautiful spawny bastards need not spend anything but the cab fare all night. Or the girlfriend of one hahaha. On Halloween me, J and 4 of the more sound males models went to Santika and they didn't even ask for a card. So one of the lads (Texan Thai) Justin says 'Hey, look Lesley just sign up' so I did, got my free 10 drinks even though I was six inches shorter and two stone heavier than any other girl model that night- hahaha wayyyy!! I was destroyed the next day.
So my liver is hurting from too many of these nights out. Intimidating at first, I wasn't keen to go 'hang out' with a load of models but actually its quite funny to check it out. The majority of the blokes wear white 'wife beater' vests so you can see their muscles and the girls are all about 17-21, beautiful, and horribly drunk. They are all so good looking that non of them really stand out. Bit sad really. We made a mate in the form of 20 yr old Andrew, a Thai American from Washington, DC. Originally over in SE Asia for a Tsunami project, he looked up his brother living in Bangkok, whos girlfriend was a model in JIMS and suggested he join. Although he hasn't had an assignment yet he has made great use of everything free he can get his hands on and just human pinballs his way around nightclubs and bars, wrecked on gin and tequila, hating other models. He's pretty switched on and I liked him immediately. He confessed his horror at sitting in a casting one day and having to listen to one male model talk about hair gel for ten minutes. The 'Derek Zoolander' thing is more on the mark than you would know and I comfort myself with the thought that J has at least got a degree in Natural Sciences....
The agency keeps picking on Andrew to gain weight and to act 'more manly'. Conversely when J arrived he was told he was too fat (70kg and 5'10) and that he had to get a six pack in 2 weeks. Jesus. The first time I went on a night out with his agency lot, his booker Nikki took me aside and told me I should get on the dieting pills like herself. 'Yeah, Lesssleee, I lost 15 kilos in 6 months!' Well, what could I say? I thought about 'Piss off you cheeky cow' but choose a diplomatic silence....
Anyway aside from that, due to the length of time here and that we are living in the Thai version of Hollywood (or Bollywood if you know what I mean) it means not so many people speak English and so we've had to get stuck into learning a few words. Got my directions and pleasantries down- and numbers! Jason is more tenatious at practicing though and gets his point across. And the food, oh yum, the food is frickin great! The street stall stuff is so good and with good recommendations you can find stuff better than in the restaurants. Noodle soups, curries, although ordering a plate of mixed green vegetables has taken us 3 weeks to figure out. Only managed that today. Average meal costs about 35 baht- 50 pence. If you get take away they give it to you in small knotted plastic bags, and if you want a drink with ice in then that also comes in a plastic bag- you have to hold it till its finished.
Other than that I have been to most markets and malls here; Platinum, MBK, Siam Discovery, and also the Night Bizarre (cool, and great food) and the Godfather of all monster markets- Chatuchack, a claustrophobic maze of clothes stalls, food stalls and niknaks. Went to MBK to pick up a pair of jeans and MY GOD, shopping away from Koh San Road has its problems for your 'curvy' Farang (western) lady. The Thais are so thai-ny! You look at a dress or skirt and they'll shout out 'noooo, lady yoo tooo big!!' My first week of this was, well, shit to be quite frank with you. But Im getting used to it. Remember my near fight with the Chickboy in April? Bloody rude. Sometimes I have gotten really upset about it and it's Jason who sorts my head out and tells me to let it wash over me. So I found a Zara in one of the shopping centres, found a size meduim skirt that fitted me just fine and felt better about the whole thing. Bloody midgets. They haven't got any boobs either so there.
To get away from the mentalness, J and I took a weekend trip to Koh Samet, an island 3 hours drive south of Bangkok and had a fantastic time. I thought, with the island being in such close proximity to Bangkok, that it would be rubbish- but it was lovely!! Went down to the relatively quiet beach of Ao Vong Duan and got a villa for three nights, right next to the beach. It was chilled, the water was warm and greeny blue and we just blissed out. Lovely.
So still have a few things on the list to 'tick', Mhuy Thai boxing match, Thai cooking course, and Timo Mass playing in a 'non model endorsed' venue on Wednesday which should be great. In the meantime I have to confess I've been getting into Yoga and hurt all over. It's harder than it looks... Should be one bendy brown thing by time I get home for xmas....
posted by LesAlanos @ 1:56 AM
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