Have you ever been Experienced?.....I have!!!

Okay, its the next day, I've had two vodka oranges before dinner and I'm feeling good :)

So lets see. This email is going to be a bit like Tenacious D's song 'Tribute' as it's not going to be anything like the fabulous log I tried to enter yesterday but something of a pale imitation. If you love this then can you just IMAGINE the MAGIC that flew out of my fingers yesterday eh? Eh?

I got to Auckland, past the security, WITH the pipes that were NOT for me and then settled into a backpackers place to deal with my jetlag. Was slightly alarmed to have three mardy 18yr old laydeeez in my room and was worried that maybe all of NZ was going to be invaded by 'babybackers'. Not so though and soon accumulated new pal number ** in the shape of Erin from Melbourne who took the ferry with me to Davenport and had seafood with me and was generally a lovely bird with whom I have pub date with in Aus. Good recovery! Had a night out with her and went to the Minus 5 Bar- a bar completely made out of ice and kept at a temp of...Minus 5? They give you big coats and gloves and you drink out of glasses that are made of ice - so you drink your drink then eat your glass! Novelty-tastic.

As for the next day, seeing as I didn't own a guide for NZ or even have the foggiest what I was going to do here, I got me to a travel agent and the next thing you know I'm booked on the Kiwi Experience for the following day. This is a jump on jump off thing that will get me all around NZ with minimum fuss and despite the bad press from the backpacker snob-twonks who would say with disdain 'oooh its full of kids, sooo limited blah bloody blah' I can tell you its bloody ace. In the past two weeks my route has gone like this:

Auckland-MercuryBay-Rotorua-Waitomo-Taupo-Tongariro-RiverValley-Wellington-Picton-Nelson-Kaiteriteri-Westport-Punakiki-Mahinapua-FranzJosef-Wanaka... And Now QUEENSTOWN!!

I mean looking at that no wonder I havent been on the ol' email. Most places just for a day but had a couple of 2 day stops for catch up. Scenic walks all over this country (Cathedral Cove in Whitanga, walks towards Mount Doom (Tongariro), walks to the beaches, the forests all sooo beautiful) and everywhere is so plush! I've been Whitewater Rafting (grade 5) in River Valley, visited the Glow Worm caves in Waitomo (like a galaxy in a cave, mud pools and geysers in Rotorua, went to an AMAZING Maori ceremony and dinner in Taupo and afterwards Kiwi Ex were taken home by some Maori bus driver whom I think MIGHT have been at the moonshine whilst we were at dinner as he started belting out 'The Wheels on the Bus go round and round' while laughing maniacally and whizzing round a roundabout about 30 times... one of the best free Museums in Wellington (really pretty capital city) and a fancy dress party (be your own superhero) in the middle of a kiwi pub in Lake Manihapua. There was a Super Klutz, Super Gay, Supertramp etc. I went as a Super Furry Animal but everyone kept calling me Super Cat. Oh well. The winner was SuperMarket. One of Team Sweden came as 'Silver Cop' complete in knee high tin foil boots, and Herman is well over 6ft tall so you can imagine. The other half went as Balloon Man, and had lots of balloons attatched to him? Swedes. Very different.

And did I mention I jumped out of a plane at 12,000 feet? No?
IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean the best thing I have ever done in my life. Its all on film, I looked (needless to say) totally petrified and then theres me shouting at the filming skydiver 'ITS FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!! ITS FUCKING ACE!!!!!'' and all that swearing is allowed because I was falling at about 200 meters a second - and a freefall of 45 seconds. It was over Lake Taupo and I could see the sun, the sky, the clouds, Mount Doom and the lake and FOREVER!!! Oh man!
As the Kiwis would say, Choice.

I have met some amazing, some funny, some amazing AND funny people on this trip that just need a mention. My posse of women, Clare aka Amsterdam aka Sssshneakers aka Larve (dont ask), Sophie and Rachel- our room, where ever it was, was the most fun. See you last two in London. Rachel, leave the stage diving to The Darkness (she kicked me in the face in a pub called the Holy Cow. Yes you did...)
Neil & Charlotte, to Neil for the lunges and the laughs, Charlotte, for putting up with Neil... even when he was a woman. Or dancing around with a three foot neon plastic penis (in the Holy Cow). The southern lads Sam, James, Steve and Alex, Rich & Foxy, aka Jack Black & Jonny Lee Miller/Prince William/ (depends on the angle), The Danish girls, Team Sweden, and of course our guide/driver Ginny who is funny as. At request she'll play the theme tune from Baywatch at least once a day so the whole bus can sing along and 'bond'. There has been so much drinking with this lot and arriving in Queenstown today means more courage of the Dutch Kind being sunk for tomorrow I am signed up to do a Bungy Jump... none other than THE NEVIS. Watched a few peeps fling themselves off the bridge today (again sooooo bloody gorgeous there - aqua marine river below and sunny sunny sunny) and its fair to say I'm terrified. The bridge today was 43mtr drop with a 3 second free fall. The Nevis is 3 and a half times that and I'll be jumping from a crane (135mt or something like that and 8 seconds of freefall). Oh god my hands are clammy just typing about it.

So its 'Mo-vember' night in the meantime and all of the blokes have been growing dodgy muzzies all week to see who has the best trailer-trash tash. See you on the other side....?